Hi everyone, and welcome to your summertime shortened newsletter (I’d rather you were out there meeting people, having fun and enjoying life than indoors reading, but read it first…!).
The weather is getting warmer (finally), the pedicures have been done, the flip-flops are out and it’s time to enjoy summer with friends, which brings me nicely on to the topic of this month’s newsletter – friends; your friends, you as a friend and how to handle friendships.
Before we get there, here’s a little treat from the Daily Mail (yes I know, not a sentence many people can say these days…!) In their infinite wisdom, they have called me a Love Expert and should you skip a session with me and you’re struggling to find ‘the one’, read these warning signs telling you a man WILL break your heart before you head out for your latest rendezvous…
Friends Will Be Friends…
Who would we be without the support our friends give us? Where would we be if not for the hurtful yet somewhat stimulating remarks from our frenemies? How did you come by the friends you have and with the benefit of hindsight do you think you should have been more mindful when picking the gang you hang with?
Also, here’s something to ponder – what do your friends think about you? Do you think you devote enough of your time to them (and vice versa) and would you consider yourself a good friend?
I think most of us would consider ourselves to be a good friend but I also suspect that most of us would like to give more time to the people – outside of our families – we claim to care about most in the world.
Saga Magazine published 10 Rules of Successful Friendships and I know it’s a magazine for the over 50s but the facts remain the same regardless of how old you are. Have a read here and see if you agree…
Male Friendships v Female Friendships
Here’s how men make arrangements (and it’s all done by text):
Dave: Red Lion @ 8?
That’s it. That’s how they communicate, and actually there’s something to be said for the efficiency of that form of communication. It’s clear, unambiguous and it does exactly what was intended. Naturally when they’re in the pub they can debate with absolute clarity and precision the nuance of the offside rule for hours or whether XYZ should have signed for Manchester United for a billion pounds a week and whether he’ll play in a diamond formation or in a traditional 4-4-2 but the communication that got them there remains as fast and as easy as possible. Men don’t do small talk.
Women, on the other hand, do.
Women expect a little more from their friendships than simply turning up at the pub to watch the football yet we seem to have less time for them – the classic vicious circle.
Women have expectations of their friends so it’s time to take stock and evaluate your friendships. In this article I share with you your best routes to uncomplicated female friendships and I promise you it’s worth a read here.
Once you’ve read the articles, first about how to have successful friendships and then how to make your female friendships and the issues surrounding them much, much easier and uncomplicated, it’s time to take a step back.
It’s time to think about you, your inner state. I wrote an article in Healthy magazine (only available in the old-fashioned printed format!) and if you’re in an actual shop where they sell actual magazines, I’d urge you to buy it.
Why? I’ll tell you. Sometimes/a lot of times/all the time* (delete as appropriate*) our friends cause mess. Some call it stress, some call it moaning and some may even go as far as calling it attention-seeking and we all have different thresholds for what we’re prepared to put up with.
For some, even the smallest bit of turbulence is cause to delete them from your phone and unfriend them on Facebook and other treat friendships like marriage. For better or worse, through thick and thin etc…
In my article, I explain just how much mess is acceptable and how to deal with your messy friends. I promise you, it’s worth reading!
Just by the way, when I say ‘friend’ throughout this newsletter, you can substitute that word for ‘partner’. Food for thought…
On that note, it’s time to go and as always, my courses are available if you want to change your life. It may well be the best call you ever make.
Enjoy the sunshine and I’ll see you next month.
Olga – The Skinny Rich Coach